Spite has definitely kept me moving forward in difficult times. The mere fact that "they" will have to deal with my existence -- I've gotten a lot of mileage out of that. It is absolutely fuel. Yep.
(FWIW, my flavor of brain chemistry means I don't usually want to actively kill myself, I just want to lie in bed and never get out again. Get Up And Piss Someone Off Today Who Deserves It could be a motto.)
A friend told me that when he was going through a really hard time in his life, his partner would say "Mitch McConnell doesn't think you can get out of bed..."
I have no idea why it's taken me so long to get over here and read this, but I made it today and I'm glad I did. The idea that any aspect of my life might be a big ol' slap upside somebody's tiny head gives me rather a lot of joy, even though my particular brain cocktail has not, to this point, suggested the world would be better off without me.
I was in crisis at one time and had access to a revolver. I chose not to use it precisely because it would make my family members that still at that time believed I was G-dless, an obscenity, and should not be alive. I am still on the planet and have done much healing since that time. I have been happily married for most of the past 20 years and work for a non-profit that does good work. My sisters realize that I am a worthwhile human.
Spite has definitely kept me moving forward in difficult times. The mere fact that "they" will have to deal with my existence -- I've gotten a lot of mileage out of that. It is absolutely fuel. Yep.
(FWIW, my flavor of brain chemistry means I don't usually want to actively kill myself, I just want to lie in bed and never get out again. Get Up And Piss Someone Off Today Who Deserves It could be a motto.)
A friend told me that when he was going through a really hard time in his life, his partner would say "Mitch McConnell doesn't think you can get out of bed..."
...and he would.
That spite has been keeping me alive for a similarly long time, friend, and fuck yes, let them squirm.
Let 'em twist in the wind, I say. Thanks for sticking around.
Fuck yeah.
I have no idea why it's taken me so long to get over here and read this, but I made it today and I'm glad I did. The idea that any aspect of my life might be a big ol' slap upside somebody's tiny head gives me rather a lot of joy, even though my particular brain cocktail has not, to this point, suggested the world would be better off without me.
I was in crisis at one time and had access to a revolver. I chose not to use it precisely because it would make my family members that still at that time believed I was G-dless, an obscenity, and should not be alive. I am still on the planet and have done much healing since that time. I have been happily married for most of the past 20 years and work for a non-profit that does good work. My sisters realize that I am a worthwhile human.